My Body, This Week

Tongue
Between the hours of 1 and 2 a.m. Friday night, my tongue spent a lot of time in someone else’s mouth. It was sort of frenzied, drunken kissing; quick and passionate, but without all the subtle sensual details. I don’t remember the way his mouth felt or tasted, I don’t remember what his tongue did, just that it did it very fast. It was the kind of kissing that implied certainty. There were no tentative moments, no questions. Just the thrilling, stupefying plunge.

Penis
I’m on the subway reading Anaïs Nin and getting aroused at very inappropriate passages. Criminally inappropriate. I feel pervy – well, pervier than usual. I love the way she uses the word “penis” instead of “cock,” etc. There’s something so crass and forced about using those other words. They sound like you’re trying too hard to be dirty and just end up seeming overzealous and cheap. “Penis” is just what it is, without any bells and whistles, and it’s still hot. It’s sort of coquettish. I don’t think I’ll ever use any word other than “penis” ever again.

I’m getting hard – on the subway – and it’s that slow, gentle kind of stiffening, like when you wake up next to someone you’re in love with and slowly your penis wakes up too. It happens on its own; organic arousal, not forced to get a job done. It’s like this warm, glowing benevolence surrounding your crotch like a ball of light.

Nipples
It is always freezing where I work. I have this theory that it’s like this in every office where people sit in cubicles all day, staring at computer screens. It’s a trick they remember from High School: if they don’t keep it really cold people will fall asleep from the tedium and monotony of their jobs. My nipples are erect and sensitive all day, everyday, and there is nothing sexy about it.