Vegas: Day Four!

Our last day at the GayVN Expo (Sunday was a travel day) was another day of filming. Feeling shockingly non-hungover from the previous night’s HustlaBall, I snapped still photos of the cute boys from Factory Video, Flavamen, and Eon Films as Mikey interviewed them.

We scurried upstairs to catch the last hour of the Internext Expo, which ended at 3:00. Apparently, it is tradition to close the show by tossing thousands of small foam breasts (some Internet company’s promotional item) around the show floor. The scene was bizarrely apocalyptic. Boobs rained down from the heavens; they shot from one side of the floor to the other with shocking speed; they bounced and rolled and even caused the MaleFlixxx.com booth to fall apart.

After we wrapped up filming, I had some time to kill before meeting up with Buck Angel for an interview, so I decided to wander around the AVN section of the expo. There I encountered a car full of creepy Real Dolls, Big Gay Apple’s ol’ pal Ron Jeremy (he signed our “I Heart Gay Porn” t-shirts back in August), and a hot trio of Burlesque performers. I also discovered Rob Rotten and almost came in my pants when I saw him. What can I say? Dirty, mean lookin’ tattooed boys who would probably beat me up are just my thing. I even heard that Verne Troyer was making an appearance somewhere.

That night’s cocktail party in one of the Venetian’s penthouse suites was only slightly more subdued than on previous nights. Once again, I found myself in a bathroom with Ashton Ryan for a significant portion of the evening. Only this time his boyfriend and Tyler Mason joined us. All three of them were flirting with me, and I would have liked nothing more than for all of us to get naked. Instead, Tyler and I just watched Ashton’s boyfriend suck his cock and then tried to make the bidet work with disastrous results.

As I was leaving, I snapped a photo of the sexiest damn thing I had seen all weekend: Rod Barry in a furry hat with wolf ears. The only way it could be sexier is if that was all he was wearing.

Vegas: Day Three!

The first day of the expo was industry only, so the floor was relatively calm. The mobs of fans clambering for a porn star’s (or anyone they perceive to be a porn star’s) autograph showed up on day two.

The madness started at noon, when the expo opened its doors to fans. Big Gay Apple was up and filming at 10 a.m., however, which gave us time to interview guys from Titan Media, Hot House Entertainment, Adonis Pictures, and of course Chi Chi Larue’s Rascal Video. I was there to see Mikey chat with Andy Kirra and Trevor Knight (a.k.a. my new secret crush), but I missed superstar Johnny Hazzard as I was busy with another superstar, the lovely Tristan Taormino.

I bumped into Miss Triss at the Adam and Eve booth, where she was taking a break from covering the AVN Expo for the Village Voice and promoting her new DVD, Tristan’s House of Ass. We chatted about the expo, how exhausted we both were, and the silicone tackiness at a neighboring booth. Eon Films super tiny super twink Tyler Mason (pictured) passed by and I introduced him to Tristan.

Tristan: “Oh my god, are you like 12?”
Tyler: “No.”
Tristan: “Are you a porn star?”
Tyler: “Yes.”
Tristan: “Are you a top?”
Tyler: “No.”
Tristan: “It would be so cool if you were a top and fucked really big guys.”

That is why I love this woman and cannot wait until she produces some gay porn.

Vegas: Day Two!

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Vegas!

Yesterday was the longest travel day in recent memory. I’m not even sure how long it took, with all the time zone changes. Flying into Vegas, my first impression was that it looked like a giant miniature golf course.

After a quick stop at the Sands Expo Center to pick up our badges, the Big Gay Apple boys and I checked into our hotel. The Flamingo, one of the oldest hotel/casinos in Vegas, was founded by Bugsy Siegel and it looks like the Golden Girls exploded all over it. The woman who checked us in had enormous hair and teal horn-rimmed glasses with rhinestones.

Unpacking, I found that the bottle of lube I felt so clever in packing had leaked all over my shaving kit. I took this as some sort of omen. Not sure what kind, but definitely an omen.

We dove right into the Vegasness – buffet dinner, walking tour of the strip, a peek inside the Paris and the New York, New York. I had to wonder how someplace so gaudy and glittery wasn’t more gay. The casinos were filled with guido and fratboy types, running around playing shiny, loud games. It was like Chuck E. Cheese for grownups.

Later that night, we headed over to the Venetian for the Pride Bucks opening night party. Of course there were a bazillion minor porn stars, live sex shows, and free drinks that were way way way too strong. There were a couple conspicuous NYC porn absentees. Neither Michael Lucas nor Owen Hawk will be making an appearance at GayVN. However we saw the lovely boys from Eon Films, the guys behind the scense at Dirty Boy Video, and my boy Andy Kirra. The guys at this expo are definitely cuter than in Florida and there are more of them. Right then and there I set a few goals for myself on this trip:

1) Make out with Ashton Ryan
2) Make out with the moody looking dark haired boy smoking in the corner
3) No Smoking! (You can smoke everywhere in Vegas, and I have no willpower)
4) Make out with either Johnny Hazzard, Remy DeLaine, or Dick Wolf – assuming any of them are here
5) Try to marry a porn star at an Elvis chapel

It took three Jack and Cokes for me to get brave enough to talk to moody dark haired boy, and even then there wasn’t much talking. It was more like, “Hi, what’s up?” “Want to make out?” “Sure!” He’s here promoting either a new DVD or a new sex toy, I’m not sure which. Regardless, he was a really good kisser.

On our way out of the Venetian, we stopped by Tao, where we continued to drink and make out and draw stares from all the straight people. Apparently you just don’t see gay boys making out in Vegas. We parted ways after we left. He was way too drunk, I was way too tired, and neither of us really wanted to disturb our roommates. So, at 5 a.m. I crawled into my hotel bed alone. But, I thought, it’s only the first night.

GayVN Here I Come!

I wish I could say I spent tonight, the eve of my departure to Las Vegas for the GayVN Expo, packing, but I didn't. I was at Happy Valley. And now I'm drunk and faced with the nightmare of packing. I hate packing under normal circumstance. But drunk? At 3 a.m.? Crikey!

Cute undies: Check.
Obscene undies: Check.
Jane Austen novel: Check.
12 different outfits for 4 days: Check.
3 pairs of shoes: Check.
A bazillion accessories: Check.
Condoms: Check.
Lube: Check.
Aneros: Check.

I'm wondering if the very fact that I'm bringing my own lube and condoms will, you know, jinx me. I'm willing to risk it. At Internext the lack of quality lubricant proved...problematic. Bringing the Aneros may be a little overly ambitious, though.

Check back all weekend. I plan on blogging the whole event.