Ambiguously Gay Runway

I’m having the damnedest time identifying the fags on this season of Project Runway. Well, not all of them, obviously. But there are a few boys I just can’t place, and with last season’s Zulema post-auf revelation...well, you just never know! Let's look at the evidence:

Robert
Gay. Duh.

Kayne
GAY! So gay. I mean, you may as well wrap this one up with a big pink suede bow and send him to Kathy Griffin’s house so she’ll have an actual gay on the next season of her reality show.

Vincent
Uh, who cares? He’s old. And crazy! He’s like, I’m so wacky! I’m so kooky! I’m gonna put a basket on your head! Gwaaaaaaah!

Malan
Gay? Or just very odd? Perhaps both. I actually thought he was going to be the crazy egomaniac this time around. Turns out, he seems surprisingly sweet and shy. He’s our little lamb; a wounded bird that needs to be protected and cuddled. Twenty bucks says that accent is fake.

Bradley
Not gay. Right? He’s got a beard. And he always seems stoned. I’m saying not gay.

Michael
Hmmm. He hasn’t gotten much screen-time yet, so I don’t have much to go on. He doesn’t really seem gay. I guess he could be all DL gay. Here’s the thing: 28-year-old semi-thugged out black dudes who are straight are not fashion designers, unless they’re already hip-hop moguls like P. Diddy. Gay.

Keith
My friend Kiki and I are fighting over this one. We both think he’s a hottie and want him on our team. Initially, I thought he was hetero. But then, in the first episode, describing his dress, he said two things came to mind: Scarlet O’Hara and the Carol Burnet Show. Gay and gay. Kiki disagrees, but come on! He’s a fashion designer. He’s got attitude oozing from his pores. Scarlet O’Hara! The Carol Burnet Show! Straight dudes don’t have the sort of finely developed sense of camp required to make that kind of reference. Kiki says she’ll buy it when he mentions Joan Crawford.

Jeffrey
Oh, hot Jeffrey. The tattoos. The rock’n’roll bad-boy attitude. I was all ready to declare him straight (I hear he has a kid and a live-in girlfriend), but then I found what I think is his MySpace page. Under “Orientation” it says “not sure.” What does it mean? Is it just a fan’s page, a fan who is just as baffled as I? Or maybe he’s just a lovely L.A. breed of hetero-flexible former street kid. Maybe turned a few tricks in his youth. Maybe just has an unhealthy fixation on pseudo-queer rock stars a la Bowie, Manson, Navaro.